My grandfather passed away at 6:35am Sunday Morning.
It’s a shock when a loved one passes — even when you know it could happen at any time. He was 95, had been married to my Grandmother 75 years and had been sick for about a year and a half.
And yet, when he passed it still sat heavy on me.
What had I learned from this man — for good or for bad?
Looking back, I believe that I learned that love is a choice, stories are a great way to remember, and that we all grieve in different ways.
The Bible says that its ‘better to spend time at funerals than at parties — after all — everyone dies — so the living should take this to heart’ (Ecc. 7:2)
Perhaps these lessons will resonate with you if you have lost a loved one.
Love is a choice
Feelings come and go, but true love is a choice.
My Grandma and Grandpa stayed together 75 years — through all of the ups and downs. The emotional and physical roller coaster of their life, kids, grandkids, turmoil and tragedy. They made a choice to continue on together.
The Message translation of 1 Peter 4:8 is so appropriate here:
Love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything.
Peter isn’t talking about loving feelings. He’s talking about the choosing love that God shows to us through Christ — that we are to show to others.
Stories Are a Great Way to Remember
At Christmas time, Grandpa would always share stories about his kids and grandkids that made him laugh til he cried.
One of his favorites (that embarrassed me) was about a time when we were at a family get together and he asked me to bring him a hamburger and “step on it”.
You know where this is going, right?
I brought the burger, dropped it in front of him and stomped on the thing.
When you are able to share stories of loved ones it draws you closer together as family, and allows laughter to relieve some of the heaviness of a loss
We all grieve in different ways
When I talked to my mom after Grandpa’s Passing, she shared that she wasn’t “behaving” like she thought she would.
It’s hard to know how you will respond when a loved one passes. And we all respond in different ways based on our experiences and physical, emotional and spiritual make up.
It’s important to Give yourself grace — because you never know how you are going to respond when something unexpected happens.
A local counselor suggests:
* Show up and be Present
* Feel What you Feel
* Tell the Truth
* Leave the Results to God